Reorginazation
Bad news:
The beginning of the song is massively discordant, and seems to flip from mood to mood, throwing in instruments randomly. The piano was disjunctive from the rest of the song, and the synth at the beginning was way too aggressive.
Good news:
However, there is potential for a great instrumental in there. Break it up into 6 parts: intro, chorus, verse, chorus, bridge, outro. Place the weird and odd noises (strings, cowbell?, reversed synth?) in the bridge. Keep a consistent beat throughout the song, maybe pausing every now and then to remove the hat and bass drum. Establish a kickass melody for the verses and melody and add a bass and you have a hit.
PS: I rated you a 5. Try to return the favor by listening to what I have to say.